first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Are my feet made of real feet?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
