Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
