this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
