Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
