Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
