I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
