dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
