just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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