Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
