I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
