Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
