im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
