I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
