I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
