you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
