who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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