Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
