It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
