the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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