It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
