I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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