Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
