If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
