dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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