I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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