I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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