Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
