Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
