I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
