I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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