Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just cropdusted the office
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
