Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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