if only i could text you this smell
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
