So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
