everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
