Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
