my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
