I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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