A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
