We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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