4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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