Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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