do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
