i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
