I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
