I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
