It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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