I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
