when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
