So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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