in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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