Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
