you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
