Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
