hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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