I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
