Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
