He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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