it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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