Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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